Pains and heartbreak

Today I felt the pains and heartbreak of a working full time mom. I have been lucky out of my four children only one has cried while being dropped off at the sitters. This morning my heart broke as I had to leave my crying son this morning. While he was clinging to me desperately not wanting me to leave. It was a feeling that I never really thought about. Yes, it has always been hard to drop them off in the morning but till now not one of them really minded. We would go through the give me one more hug or one more kiss but I always knew when I left they would be fine. And I had little images of them waving out the door with smiles and thoughts of mom in their heads. Not today, it was a very awful feeling. Now, I know that just minutes after leaving the sobs quit and Evan was just fine. But the poor crying infant wanting his mom has been burned into my mind. As I work today I come back to that image, knowing that I will have to replay that moment again tomorrow and it makes me want to cry. But as a mother we do things that no one else wants to do or enjoys for the good the family. At this point in time, I will endure the pain and tears on my way to work daily until hopefully by chance that I will soon be able to stay at home with the ones that I love the most and the ones that drive me crazy the most. For them I do all things. This includes my loving husband who of course without him there would be none of this. I love them very much.